food random

Turtle burger

Rusty is this mad guy a friend is couch-surfing with here in Williamsburg. He has a rad band called Justice Of The Unicorns, is never seen without a baseball cap and a ginger beard, and tells the funniest stories you’ve ever heard. His day job is maintaining one of Manhattan’s parks. The image of him hooning around in a golf buggy, mowing lawns in criss-cross patterns “to look like Yankee Stadium” and turning the sprinklers onto homeless dudes who won’t move, is surely the stuff of a great sitcom. But what he does in this video, this is amazing. It’s probably going to blow your mind. It’s the turtle burger.

Rusty can’t lay claim to inventing the turtle burger (not made from actual turtles, but suprisingly realistic); he stumbled across it on a fishing website discussion board. Like any great urban legend it’s almost impossible to trace the turtle burger back to a single individual – the turtle burger’s origins are shrouded in mystery.

It’s basically a mince patty wrapped in bacon (in a basket weave), with sausages stuck in for legs, tail and head. The loving slow motion of this video makes the whole process seem so deliberate, the clipped detail of the toes and mouth seem like surgery. And best of all is when they get the deli guys to sell it at the end. Rusty keeps sending random friends in to request it, just to freak out the deli guys.

Desperate to try making one….

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